This website takes no responsibility &
holds no liability for the occurrence or outcome of any cognitive process that
may occur while perceiving this website through the interpretation of sensory
information in ANY form. This is because this website
is a website and is not itself capable of 'taking' anything in the literal
sense... Except ages... TO LOAD! But, I'm sure you have broadband... Well... not
'sure' in the literal sense... It's more of a figurative sense. A figure of
speech, if you will. I'm not exactly sure which category of figure of speech it
is, though. No, wait! It's Hyperbole. The figure of speech in which statements
are exaggerated. You see, it's clearly an exaggeration that I am 'sure' that you
have broadband. I mean, c'mon... It's totally preposterous to think that I, the
website author known hereafter as 'Webby McWebweb' could be certain that
you have broadband, nor could be uncertain that you have narrowband. JUST
KIDDING! What I just said is totally whack because narrowband is the
opposite of wideband, not broadband. Hurrah! I hereby proclaim that this is the
first time "Totally whack!" has been said on the internet! No, really...
Google it! But not yet, because I'm not done proclaiming yet... I'd also like to
proclaim that it's henceforth opposite day!
What the hell is with opposite day, anyway? Kids stating that it's opposite day is bullshit because if all statements on opposite day are false then that means starting the game by saying "it's opposite day!" is a false load of sheit. So technically they have to say "It's not opposite day today!". But that's just stupid. "No sheit it's not opposite day today.. How the hell did you get out of the dungeon?" Stupid kids. The only real way around this is to proclaim henceforth that it's opposite day. That way their is no paradox! Did you know that 19th Century Democratic Congressman Alexander Kerr Craig is credited with inventing opposite day? I sure as hell didn't... In fact, I wish I still didn't. I mean way-to-fucking go Archimedes! Your invention has really transcended human achievement. I'm sorry that was out of line... He was a pretty good bloke...
I Hope all this proclaiming hasn't taken
the focus off of the disclaiming. I can assure you that the proclamations were
absolutely necessary in order for you to pass the test... You see, if you are
reading this then you have indeed passed the robot test. Truth-be-told I started
freaking-the-fuck out when I realised that my disclaimer did not cover any
liability or the responsibility incurred when a robot visits this website. I
mean what-the-shit am I meant to do if C3PO or Optimus fucking Prime gets on
this website and starts clicking shit with their robotic appendages and decides
to commence litigation. After all robots are not capable of cognitive process at
all... What's that? Cybernetics? How about Cyber shut-the-fuck-up? The point is
that robots, when attempting to compute the paradox of opposite days would
inevitably start twitching, sparking and/or attempting to lower themselves into
pools of molten metal.